Comic Book Guy profile

Name: Jeff Albertson.
Referred to as: Comic Book Guy

Identity: Overweight, sarcastic comic store owner stuffed into a T-shirt 3 sizes too small.

Age: 45 (he is a virgin and still lives with his mother)
Occupation: Purveyor of comic collectables and memorabilia.
Education: Master's degree in folklore and mythology.

Friends: None. Once dated Agnes Skinner.
Loves: Collecting comics, eating burritos by the wheelbarrow-full.
Hates: Getting off his stool for anything other than a cash transaction.

"Friggin' Kids."

Items for sale in his shop:

• A rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide.
• A charming Hamburgular adventure. Some one has already done the puzzle. The answer is 'fries'.
• Bleeding Gums Murphy's album, Sax on the Beach (on sale for $500)
• The Ultimate Pog ($500)
• Various Radioactive Man comics: #1, #100.
• The Mad Magazine Special Edition (only 17 a year are brought out).

"No banging your head on the display cabinet please. It contains a rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide, thank you."