Synopsis
After Comic Book Guy suffers a near-fatal heart attack, Bart and Milhouse take over running the Android's Dungeon, while Homer tries to help Comic Book Guy to be friendly & outgoing.
Memorable quotes
Lisa:
Eww! How long has this baking soda been in here?
Marge:
I don't know, it came with the house.
Bart:
Milhouse my friend, you and I are going on a spending spree.
Milhouse:
My doctor says I'm not supposed to go on sprees.
Bart:
How about jags?
Milhouse:
Jags are fine.
Milhouse:
My Mom doesn't believe in fabric softener - but she's not around!
Comic Book Guy:
Breath... short! Left arm... numb! Can't go on... describing symptoms... much... longer!
Dr. Hibbert:
You've had what we call a cardiac episode.
Comic Book Guy:
Worst. Episode. Ever.
Dr. Hibbert:
If these boys hadn't called 911, I'd be wearing that watch right now. (chuckling) I'm just kidding. But you would be dead.
Milhouse:
We'll run the store for you.
Comic Book Guy:
Two ten-year-olds running my store? What is this, Bizarro-World?
Dr. Hibbert:
Calm down! Don't make me put a dog heart in there!
Milhouse:
Okay, here's Comic Book Guy's instructions: A carton of malted-milk balls, one box confectioners' sugar, a can of chocolate frosting...
Bart:
That's just his shopping list.
Milhouse:
No, it's his instructions.
Moe:
Lemme buy ya a drink.
Comic Book Guy:
Very well. I will have a cranberry schnapps. (He points to bottles on the shelf)
Moe:
Uh, these, they're just painted on there.
Bart:
Look, you're getting cranky. You haven't had your juice.
Milhouse:
Well my straw broke off in the carton, and-- that's not the point! We're supposed to be partners, and you're pushing me around like a play-school corn-popper!
Bart:
(sniggering) It's a vacuum cleaner, Milhouse.
Milhouse:
Whatever! I demand respect! I have feelings! I'm a human boy, just like you!
Bart:
Shh! Use your indoor voice.
Milhouse:
He's even got the tape of Kent Brockman picking his nose. (He puts the tape in) Look! He's picking his nose!!
Ned:
(on police tape) My neighbor Homer released a radioactive ape in my house. It's take over the whole top floor!
Bart:
It wasn't Dad's fault, the ape tricked him.
Wiggum:
Well, well, well! This place has got more pirated tapes than a...
Lou:
A Chinese K-Mart?
Wiggum:
Well, that'll have to do. Are these yours, son?
Milhouse:
No sir. We're just exhibiting them for profit.
Wiggum:
Fair enough. But the owner is in more hot water than...
Lou:
A Japanese tea bag?
Wiggum:
Why don't you lay off the Asians, Lou?
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