I’ve learned my lesson: a mountain of sugar is too much for one man. It’s clear now why God portions it out in those tiny packets, and why he lives of a plantation in Hawaii.— Homer
Barney: (hitting the ground with a baseball bat) Take that snake! And you too! Snakes, snakes, everywhere!
Lenny: Getting ready for Whacking Day?
Barney: What's Whacking Day?
Skinner: What do you think of the banners?
Chalmers: Nothing but transparent toadying.
Skinner: They were the children's idea. I tried to stop them.
Chalmers: It's always the children's fault, isn't it, Seymour.
Skinner: Yes. Yes it is, sir.
Nelson: Imagine a school out there with no bullies.
Jimbo: Science geeks not getting beat up... Kids using their lunch money for food...
Teacher: (chasing Bart) Avert your eyes, children: he may take on other forms!
Homer: Inside every man is a struggle between good and evil that cannot be resolved. (He imagines his evil side dancing on Good Homer's grave)
Evil Homer: I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer!
Lovejoy: (apparently reading from the Bible) And the Lord said, "Whack ye all the serpents which crawl on their bellies, and thy town shall be a beacon unto others." So you see Lisa, even God himself endorses Whacking Day.
Lisa: Let me see that.
Lovejoy: (pause) No.
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