All right, you scrawny beanpoles: becoming a cop is not something that happens overnight. It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge.— Wiggum
Moe: Woah, woah, hey, you didn't pay for the beer.
Homer: Can't someone else do it?!
Moe: (laughs) Very good! (Homer exits, we hear a gun cock) Seriously, gimme the money.
Homer: Okay, before I show you, who wants to guess how I got the money?
Bart: Dealing drugs?
Marge: I'll have to say drugs too.
Homer: Close, but you're way off.
Homer: This man doesn't crawl, he stands tall. That rhymes Marge, and you know it rhymes, admit it!
Ray Patterson: If I hadn't packed my letter opener, I'd give you such a stabbing.
Homer: Are you going to let politics get in the way of our friendship?
Ray Patterson: Friendship!? You told people I lured children into my gingerbread house!
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