I’ll keep it short and sweet: Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.— Burns
Mrs. Krabappel: How about Oklasoft? It's Oklahoma's fastest-growing software company.
Maude: Um, cushions? Everybody likes to sit on cushions.
Agnes: Children are so fat today. Isn't there some way we could make money off that?
Marge: I'm not wild about these high-risk adventures. They sound a little risky.
Marge: ...and then they gave me back my $500 investment and kicked me out of the club.
Homer: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Back up a bit now. When are the pancakes coming in the mail?
Homer: What do you need to make money for, anyway? As long as I have my earning power, this family's got nothing to worry about. (he stabs himself in the eye with a hot dog) Ow! Call work and tell 'em I won't be in tomorrow!
Marge: When can I start? Where's my territory?
Frank: Your... territory... Well, lemme tell ya. Wherever a young mother is ignorant of what to feed her baby, you'll be there. Wherever nacho penetration is less than total, you'll be there. Wherever a Bavarian is not quite full, you will be there.
Marge: Don't forget fat people. They can't stop eating!
Homer: (walking past) Hey, pretzels!
Marge: Look at them! They've jumped on te one franchise I might possibly have considered thinking about becoming interested in.
Helen Lovejoy: I don't understand why they won't unload our falafel fixings!
Lou: Ship's impounded, Ma'am.
Wiggum: Yeah, we, uh, found a couple of barnacles on the hull. That and, uh, the deck was, uh, wet.
Helen Lovejoy: That's crazy! And what are those men doing under my van?
Wiggum: Look lady, if I was you, I would just leap into the air as I'm preparing to do. (the van explodes)
Lenny: (hesitating) Uh, let's see. I'll have... one, uh...
Carl: Hey, hurry up. I wanna get my pretzel!
Lenny: One pretzel.
Marge: Thank you.
Carl: Uh, let's see, um... I will have one of your, uh...
Homer: Hey, Fat Tony! You still with the mafia?
Fat Tony: Uh... Uh, yes, I am. Thank you for asking. Now, Homer, as you no doubt recall, you were done a favor by our, uh, how shall I say - Mafia Crime Syndicate.
Homer: Oh yeah.
Fat Tony: Now the time has come for you to do us a favor.
Homer: You mean the mob only did me a favor to get something in return? Oh, Fat Tony! I will say good day to you, sir!
Fat Tony: (trying to take Marge's keys) Is, uh, there a button or a release for these keys?
Marge: Oh, you have to push in as you turn.