...And I gave that man directions, even though I didn’t know the way, ’cause that’s the kind of guy I am this week.— Homer
The Ned Zone: Ned gains the powers to see people's deaths. Four Beheadings and a Funeral: Lisa and Bart try to catch a Jack-the-Ripper-esque serial killer in Victorian-era London. In the Belly of the Boss: In a parody of Fantastic Voyage, Maggie is trapped inside Burns' body, and the other Simpsons must go inside to save her.
When Bart fishes Homer's vintage ''Playdude'' magazines out of the trash, he decides to adopt the ring-a-ding-ding lifestyle of the 1970s, as interpreted by a 10-year-old. Meanwhile, Marge stoops to sabotage to keep up with the other contestants during the Ovenfresh Bakeoff.
When Marge realises that Bart and Lisa dislike her mothering them, she takes Nelson Muntz under her wing, whose father has disappeared and mother ignores him. Meanwhile, Lisa gets picked on at school for being overweight and goes on a diet.
After a scandal involving Mayor Quimby makes the news, Marge's old school friend, Chloe Talbot comes to Springfield, who is now a famous journalist. However Marge gets jealous when Lisa sees Chloe as a better role model.
After Bart loses his baby tooth in a spitball fight, he suffers a ''mid-life crisis''. Bart chooses to express his feelings with T-shirt slogans and a local merchant decides he wants to sell them. And, after Homer loses his job, Bart becomes the soul provider for the family.
Grampa and Homer go to Canada to smuggle prescription drugs, since Abe can no longer afford the jacked-up prices for pills in the U.S.
The Simpsons are suddenly more wealthy after their mortgage is finally paid off. However, when Moe's Tavern is shut down by the health inspector, Homer takes out another mortgage on Moe's to kep it running. Wanting to protect their investment, Marge takes charge and gives the bar a facelift...but Homer thinks she is spending too much time with Moe.
Homer becomes a victory dance choreographer after dancing for a victory over his son. Meanwhile Ned looks to create his own wholesome entertainment by creating his own versions of bible stories, which seem to only concentrate on the violent parts.
Bart sneaks off to attend a rap concert without his parents' permission. When Homer and Marge realize their son is missing, Bart fakes his own kidnapping to avoid punishment.
After Springfield gets rated as one of the worst towns in America to visit, Quimby and the townsfolk decide to legalise same-sex marriage. When Reverend Lovejoy refuses to perform the marriages, Homer jumps on the bandwagon and becomes a priest online. However, Marge is shocked to learn that her sister Patty is gay and engaged to be married.
Tired of her brother making fun of her constantly, Lisa gets a restraining order against Bart. He must stay at least 20 feet away from her at all times. And when he takes her to court to protest, the distance is increased to 200 feet, and Bart must live in the back yard. Meanwhile, Homer get a job as a ''greeter'' at the Sprawl*Mart.
Selma goes to China in an attempt to adopt a baby, but since single women can't adopt, she must pretend that Homer is her husband.
Marge becomes worried that Homer ''keeps almost dying'', and starts saving money. However Homer blows it all on an RV - and gets thrown out of the house.
Springfield builds a new cultural center after discovering the town is ridiculed by Shelbyville. However, it is a flop and is turned into a state prison. It is not long before Homer is sent there, where he becomes a prison snitch. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa set out the discover why Snowball II has gotten fat.
Bart and Lisa get a glimpse of their future, eight years from next Tuesday. Homer and Marge have separated, and Bart and Lisa are both graduating from high school. However Lisa's scholarship at Yale is threatened when it is offered to Bart instead.
Homer goes to an out-of-town bar after realising he can't keep a roof over his family's head. While there he makes a new friend in Ray Magini who happens to be a licensed roofer. However when Ray never shows up, Marge believes him to be imaginary and Homer is sent to a mental hospital.
When Springfield Elementary gets new vending machines, Bart becomes addicted to the sugar-loaded snacks. Three weeks later he is so overweight he has a heart attack and is sent to a fitness camp.
Lisa auditions for an Pop Idol-esque singing competition, ''Krusty's Li'l Starmaker'', with audience-pleasing songs written by her father.
After watching an apocolyptic movie, Homer believes the rapture is coming and tried to spread the word. However after a miscalculation, the rapture does come and Homer is called up to heaven.
Flanders becomes the laughing stock of Springfield after unknowingly renting out his spare room to two college women who broadcast their 'sexy antics' across the Internet. Flanders moves away from Springfield, but Homer realises you don't know what you've got til it's gone.
Bart is expelled from Springfield Elementary (again!) and the only school they can get him into is Catholic. However Marge worries the school is converting him.