Plot
It is Maggie's first birthday, and the whole family, including Mrs. Bouvier and Grampa, celebrate. Afterwards, Marge tells Homer that the two pensioners seem lonely and would enjoy each other's company. She invites them both to dinner, where Abe falls in love with Mrs. Bouvier.
Meanwhile, Bart uses Homer's credit card to buy a genuine Itchy & Scratchy animation cel. However, when it arrives, it is only part of Scratchy's arm. Abe takes Mrs. Bouvier out on another date, but Mr. Burns steals her away from him, much to Grampa's disappointment.
Burns arrives at the Simpson home the next evening to take Mrs. Bouvier out on another date, where Bart extorts money from him to pay for the animation cel. Burns asks Mrs. Bouvier to marry him and she accepts. At the wedding, however, Grampa intervenes and asks her if its what she really wants to do. She realizes that she does not want to marry Burns and they both leave.
Memorable quotes
Marge:
Homey, you know, it's funny. Both my mother and your father seem pretty lonely.
Homer:
(chuckling) That is funny.
Homer:
Marge, please, old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
Grampa:
You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.
Roger Meyers:
I'm proud to offer your viewers these hand-drawn Itchy and Scratchy animation cels. Each one is absolutely, positively, one hundred percent guaranteed to increase in value.
Voiceover:
(very quickly) Not a guarantee.
Marge:
He's an awful, awful, awful man! I guess if he makes Mom happy, that's all that really matters.
Homer:
That's right, money. Your money's happiness is all that moneys.
Grampa:
At least now I'll have more time to read stuff I find on the ground. (picking up something) La...tex...con...dome. Boy I'd like to live in one of those!
Mr. Burns:
My darling, since my kneecaps are filling with fluid as we speak, I'll be brief. Will you marry me?
Bart:
I'm going to keep the Mary Worth phone right here. Her stern but sensible face will remind me never to do anything so stupid again. (it rings and Bart answers it)
Milhouse:
Hey Bart, you want to go play with that X-ray machine in the abandoned hospital?
Bart:
Sure!
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