I’ve learned my lesson: a mountain of sugar is too much for one man. It’s clear now why God portions it out in those tiny packets, and why he lives of a plantation in Hawaii.— Homer
Samantha: We just moved here from Phoenix. My dad owns a home security company. He came to Springfield because of its high crime rate and lackluster police force.
Troy McClure: Hello, I'm actor Troy McClure. You kids might remember me from such educational films as "Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly" and "Here Comes the Metric System!" I'm here to provide the facts about sex in a frank and straightforward manner. And now, here's "Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You-Know-What."
Bart: How would I go about creating a half-man, half-monkey-type creature?
Mrs. Krabappel: I'm sorry, that would be playing God.
Bart: God shmod! I want my monkey-man!
Bart: Hey, what's with the skirt?
Milhouse: I've brought friends to this treehouse before.
Bart: Yeah, but never a girl. What if I want to strut around nude?
Kent Brockman: Good evening. Did you know that 34 million American adults are obese? Putting together that excess blubber would fill the Grand Canyon two fifths of the way up. That may not sound impressive, but keep in mind it is a very big canyon.
Marge: Homer, has the weight loss tape reduced your appetite?
Homer: Ah, lamentably no. My gastronomic rapacity knows no satieties.
Martin: This is the first time anyone has ever sat next to me since I successfully lobbied to have the school day extended by twenty minutes!
Milhouse: How could this happen? We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.
Homer: Marge, where's that... metal dealie... you use to... dig... food?