Burns, Baby Burns

Plot

Mr. Burns discover that he has a long lost son, Larry Burns. Mr. Burns accepts Larry as his son, but soon he loses respect for him when he finds out he is a oaf. So Homer and Larry devise a plan to fake kidnap Larry in Homer's basement, to see if Mr. Burns really cares about Larry.

The police track them down and the devised plan isn't a success. Mr. Burns decides he cannot love his son and he must go. Larry leaves Springfield for ever.

Memorable quotes

Flanders: Well, if God didn't make little green apples, it's Homer Simpson! How long have you been here?
Homer: Twenty of the suckiest minutes of my life.

Marge: Next to Spring and Winter, Fall is my absolute favorite season. Just look at all this beautiful foilage.
Lisa: It's not "foilage," Mom, it's "foliage." <i>Fo-liage.</i>
Marge: That's what I said, foilage. It doesn't take a nuclear scientist to pronounce foilage.

Mr. Burns: Oh this might take a while, Smithers. Why don't you get drunk and stumble around comically for my amusement?
Smithers: I'll be a one-man conga line, sir.

Homer: Can't they get a pole for that sign?
Bart: That's a hitchhiker, Homer.
Homer: Ooh, let's pick him up!
Marge: No! What if he's crazy?
Homer: And what if he's not? Then we'd look like idiots.

Lisa: (talking about Mr. Burns) He stole our puppies.
Marge: He sexually harassed me.
Grampa: He stole my fiancé.
Homer: He made fun of my weight.
Larry Burns: Okay, so there's been a bit of friction. Know his address?

Mr. Burns: You, foodbag - do you have a son?
Homer: Yes sir, I do.
Mr. Burns: And is he a constant disappointment? Does he bring home nitwits and make you talk to them?
Homer: Oh, all the time! Have you ever heard of this kid Milhouse? He's a little wiener who--
Mr. Burns: Fascinating. Goodnight.

Kent Brockman: A bloody end for Homer Simpson... is just one of several possible outcomes according to our computer simulation. Now, here's how it would look if the police killed him with a barrage of baseballs.

Wiggum: Don't be a fool, Simpson! Let the kid go!
Mr. Burns: The negotiations have failed. Shoot him!

Mr. Burns: Smithers, take off my belt.
Smithers: With pleasure, sir!

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Notes

• The Simpsons visit Mt. Swartzwelder Cider Mill, named after Simpsons writer John Swartzwelder.
• The Olmec Indian head from 7F22 Brush With Greatness is still in the basement.
• Statues of Burns dressed like an ancient Roman can be seen outside his mansion.
• Mr. Burns was a member of Yale's class of 1914.

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References

• Larry Burns insulting everyone at the country club, and the party at the end to ''Anyway You Want It'' is a parody of ''Caddyshack'', starring Rodney Dangerfield (who voiced Larry).

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