No way, Bart. If I lean over, I leave myself open to wedgies, wet willies, or even the dreaded rear-admiral!— Milhouse
Name: Hans Moleman
Identity: The almost blind Springfield resident who is young, but looks very old. He is always escaping death, and is sometimes known as the 'Kenny' of the Simpsons world.
"You call that a knife? THIS is a knife!"
Occupation: Drives lorries (though not very well - he can't see past the steering wheel).
Original character name: Ralph Mellish (as is stated on his driver's license [7F15])
Address: 920 Oak Grove, Springfield, USA, 90701.
Car: An AMC Gremlin.
Hans' Radio Show:
"Hello, this is Moleman in the morning. Good Moleman to you. Today, part four of our series of the agonizing pain in which I live every daaaay."
Previous jobs: Teacher at the Adult Education Annex: How To Eat An Orange.
Claim to fame: His film, "Man Getting Hit By Football" was featured in the Springfield Film Festival, and was later produced by George C. Scott.
"The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage..."