This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.— Wiggum
Name: Homer Jay Simpson.
Identity: A big oaf of a father.
Age: 36-39 (was 36 in earlier episodes, but is now 38/39.
Weight: 239lbs to 260lbs (heaviest was 315lbs)
Relations: Marge (wife), Bart, Lisa and Maggie (kids), Abraham Simpson (dad), Herb (half-brother)
Occupation: Safety Inspector (Sector 7G) at Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.
Credit card no.: 5784365343410709
Catchphrases: D'oh!, Mmm..., and Woohoo!
"Maybe for once someone will call me 'sir'
without adding 'you're making a scene.' "
Best friend: Barney Gumble
Enemies: Ned Flanders, the water department, God...
Hero: Steve McQueen
Hobbies: Watching TV, drinking beer, eating...
Fave food: Donuts (raspberry cream or double-glaze), pork chops, honey roasted peanuts.
Fave drink: Duff beer.
Fave restaurant: Greasy Joe's Bottomless BBQ Pit.
Fave cassette to listen to while on a road trip: Rappin' Ronnie Reagan.
Inventions: Flaming Homer (which Moe stole); 'Wonder Bat'; an
unknown product (in "Homer Vs. Patty and Selma"); an
electric hammer; a six-legged chair that won't tip over; a make-up gun;
and armchair-toilet thing.
Past loves: Mindy Simmons (and Maude Flanders most of the time!)
Fears: Sock puppets.
"You tried you best, and you failed miserably.
The lesson is: never try."
Awards won: First Annual Montgomery Burns Awards for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence [8F23], the burping contest at the Power Plant [2F31], Employee of the Month [8F04], "Sir Drinks A Lot", a Grammy for Best Spoken Word or Barbershop Quartet Album Of The Year [9F21], and six won at the high school reunion: most weight gained, most improved odor, most hair lost, oldest car, lowest paying job, and the least distance traveled to get to the reunion [9F16].
Previous jobs: Teacher [1F20], astronaut [1F13], singer[9F21], manager of a country & western singer [8F19], pin monkey [2F10], monorail conductor [9F10], chauffeur [2F14], Mr. Plow [9F07], Kwik-E-Mart clerk [8F06], and a body guard [AABF05] among many, many others.
Appearances: Every episode. Has had two birthdays [AABF08 & 3G01], let the 'Babysitter bandit' get away, been to Clown college & Body guard college, been into space, and has been a member of the Be Sharps.
"The Sun? That's the hottest place on Earth!"